Cortisol tests, adrenal fatigue, glandulars and a rant about being sick

I completed my saliva/urine sample on the 28th and sent it out yesterday. Once it gets to the lab, they will measure my cortisol levels and based on the results Dr.Weiss will decide whether or not to put me on low dose cortef. Dr. Teitlebaum, whose CFS protocol Dr. Weiss subscribes to, wrote an article on using low dose cortef to treat adrenal fatigue (a condition I was diagnosed with last year) that says that these saliva tests tend to be inaccurate. Despite this, the saliva/urine test I had done last March said that I had very low cortisol levels. In all honesty, I hope that they're low again because this means that there's a known treatment protocol and a solid reason behind my ongoing fatigue and weakness. If I come out normal, there's either something else wrong with me or the test was wrong. Either way, it makes things far more difficult than they should be.

For now, per doctors orders, I am taking over the counter stuff for my adrenal fatigue called Adrenal Stress End. It is adrenal cortex extract aka. glandulars from a company called Integrative Therapeutics. I had taken them for about six months or more before and saw improvement but ceased taking them because Dr. Wu (my naturopathic doctor) wanted to start me on some herbs and didn't want to overwhelm my system. I was okay for a month or so and then crashed. I always have so much going on in my life that sometimes it's hard to track the cause and effect of my ever changing treatment regime, but looking back perhaps going off the glandulars was not such a good idea.

Glandulars, by the way, are ground up and dried extracts of animal glandular tissue. My thyroid medicine, Nature-throid is a glandular because it is composed of dessicated pig thyroid. I also take calf thymus gland extract sublingually three times a day to control my viral symptoms, (it's called proboost and it works incredibly well). The glandular that I just started is adrenal extract from a cow, I think.

Dr. Teitlebaum is a proponent of glandulars, as is my doctor. Dr. Wu doesn't seem to be much of a fan, although they seemed to work and so I'll take them. The point is, they're kind of controversial. I read an article written by Dr. Weil (whose dismissal of adrenal fatigue is disapointing) saying that they're not proven to work and kind of dangerous. In cases like this, you have to be willing to try things, pay attention to how your own body receives the treatment and continue or discontinue based on that. Looking to multiple medical authority figures tends to be contradictory and confusing, but I do find that having more than one health care practitioner has been largely helpful.

I have to get moving on this whole wellness thing. I'm not happy one bit about my inability to exercise. I'm far too vain to allow my body to take on the doughy amorphous slump of a middle aged person stuck in a veal fattening pen, but that's certainly where I am headed if I continue on into my thirties sitting on my ass. I have no patience for this anymore. I was planning on starting school in September and now it's not looking good. I am tired all the time. It's an overwhelming desire to sleep that haunts me all day long. But that's not all. Maybe you have experienced this. It's that feeling that you get when you have exercised really hard and now you're ravenously hungry but you keep going, maybe because you're playing soccer or running a race for instance, and your muscles get very weak and very heavy (I think it's called 'hitting the wall'). Maybe you feel a little light headed too. In fact, your body is so desperate for rest and nourishment that even your thoughts are muddled. It's an all consuming exhaustion, but you know that after a nice meal and a glass of water, life will return to normalcy. In my case, that sense of heaviness, soreness, dehydration and exhaustion is what I am up against after one of my boyfriends families social events or a trip to the mall. Some days, I just wake up like that. And there is no meal or glass of water that will make this feeling go away. For now, it's just the way things are. Some days are better than others and these days, I have a good day from time to time (every so often, a good month or two). For that I am grateful, but I don't think it's too much to ask that I'd like to have some of my youth back before it's gone.

Thanks for reading this, if you've made it that far. I don't get a chance to explain this to folks very often. People sometimes tell me that I just need to tough it out, or do stuff anyway or to just try exercising (it would be all I do, if I could) and I'm usually too tired to defend myself. If you are one of those people, give me a break. I don't claim to know what your life is like, so do the same for me. When people patronize me by giving their bad advice, more than a mere annoyance, it exposes all the unspoken assumptions they harbor about the nature of my condition, about my motivations, my state of mind and my moral sturdiness just to name a few. Also, don't try to "joke" with me about how I'm making excuses. No one would lie about being tired for this long unless they were completely pathological. The patience with which I deal with people like this is a testament to my sanity. So don't insult me like that. It's not an excuse, it's not in my head. Don't tell me I'll be fine. I have a chronic illness. It may never go away. I am faced with that every day of life.

My apologies, dear readers, for my anger. But understand, I have been through hell and for this, I am misunderstood at every turn. Chronic fatigue syndrome is trivialized by the medical establishment and therefore, entire communities, families and friends alike. I intend on remedying this as soon as I get a fourth of my old gumption back. Trust me, I'll fight the good fight to get the word out about chronic illness and the people who silently suffer.

If you have read this far and listened with a modicum of empathy, you now understand better than most people in my life what it is that I'm going through. So when I seem cranky, distant, unavailable or unaccommodating some days, it's nothing personal. And if I am giving you my attention and positive energy, that's my gift to you. It may not seem like much, but it's all I've got. In fact, it's usually more than I've got... but I give it anyway.