Things are feeling a bit better today. Yesterday was a day of hot baths, heating pads and ibuprofen. I find that if I mix ibuprofen with coffee that it really helps with cramps. My cramps are bad. They've always been bad, but they got a lot worse in my late twenties. Since giving up gluten, dairy and grains I have experienced some improvement. The difference is that I'm not throwing up from the pain and asking people to euthanize me. It's still bad though. I hope that I don't have to spend the next 20 years dealing with this, but there doesn't seem to be much of a cure offered in this way. I guess I could go out seeking muscle relaxers but I'm not comfortable asking for controlled substances. I guess it's having seen my sister do it as a drug seeking behavior, those pills scare me and so I just bite into a wooden spoon every month and deal. Dr. Wu has tried several different herbal concoctions. They don't make a dent. I have never thought that they would though. I take them anyway. I'll try anything.

Red wine is another thing that works. Sipping a glass slowly keeps the pain at bay. Too much will you overwhelm your liver, which makes things worse. Also, castor oil packs. I find them to be effective in taking the edge off.

I think about these cramps and how they're probably something somewhat genetic. Whoever my ancestors were, I can't imagine having these cramps without access to hot water, electric heating pads and pain killers. Did they just tough it out? Or did they know something I don't?

Maybe cramps like this are environmental. I have read that endometriosis has been found in women who grew up near industrial plants. I did. So maybe the pain is a result of modern day society, in which case the question is moot.

Despite the physical pain, I find myself in good spirits. Fall is a good time for me. It brings up feelings of newness and school and excitement and news friends. A sense that everything is about to change. The smell of the air and the sound of the leaves rustling when they're beginning to change colors. It also makes me want to see my family, which is what I do every year. I have chosen not to go home for Thanksgiving this year. Going home for Thanksgiving and Christmas is too much for me. Also, Vijay and I would like to trade holidays. This year, he will come home with me for Christmas. That makes me happy. I really want to see the kids soon though.

Anyway, I have a fridge full of fruit right now. If I don't do something with it soon, it will all go to waste. So I'm going to throw it all in a blender and make smoothies for Vijay and myself. Later!